Showing posts with label tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tips. Show all posts

Monday, September 2, 2013

College Advice for the Indecisive



I've posted before about my major switches (seven in total) and anyone who knows me knows how indecisive I can be. It's especially tough when it comes to college; no one wants to be clueless about the rest of their life! I'm finally going to graduate this coming spring semester. All summer long I've thought about how far I've come, and what it took to get me here. It's humbling and exciting all at the same time. Through my five years in higher education, however there were some nuggets of knowledge I wish I knew when I was a freshman.

If you don't like a professor, GET OUT.

It is better to have a W (withdrawal) on that transcript than an F. I wish I knew how to drop a class as a freshman. I know it sounds silly but it's not something that's made clear when you get to college. You're paying to be in their class. If they're not worth your time and money, then why be there? If you don't like the professor, then it will be extremely hard to pass the class if you're anything like me.  It's best to take advantage of this piece of wisdom while you're still completing gen-eds (general education requirements). There will be a dozen other professors to teach you english or math; not so much once you're in classes for your major and there's only one professor that teaches advance biochemical engineering or whatever. I highly suggest checking out ratemyprofessor.com before signing up for classes.

It's OK to go to a community college.

Fresh out of high school, my only concern was being away from home. I didn't think about graduating, I had no concerns for my classes, and essentially made a very expensive mistake. That being said, I'm super thankful my parents made the decision to have me go to a community college instead after my first semester screw up. It allowed me to really figure out what type of career I want without the guilt and burden of debt. As I was figuring out my life I was gaining valuable, transferable credits at a fraction of the cost. Unlike most four year schools, community colleges' number one priority is the student. The professors aren't there to have studio or lab space or to finish up their doctorate or to get funding for their research. They are just there to teach, and that's a big deal. Most of the professors also teach at other more reputable schools so don't be quick to think it's a "you get what you pay for" sort of deal. I had plenty professors who taught at Yale, Sacred Heart University, or University of New Haven amongst other schools while simultaneously teaching the class I was in. They taught the same curriculum with the same book. I cannot praise the value of community colleges enough. 


Lastly, it's OK to not know what you want to do!

I went through an emotionally tough period when I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I mean, that's what college IS here in the United States. We place so much self worth and identity on careers. It was draining and confusing, mostly because art majors are stereotypically poor and don't find artistic careers which is totally false; but I didn't have people to tell me that until I spoke with my professors at my community college. I've finally found my passion and couldn't be happier and I only wish the same for everyone else in this type of predicament. 

 The average student changes their major three to five times. Few people graduate with the degree they intended to when they first entered college. Your first two years will be filled with primarily gen-eds anyways, so take advantage of this time in college. Go to club fairs, career fairs, the career development center on campus, and talk to professors and alumni if you can. There are so many resources that your tuition is paying for that you should take advantage of. I hear countless stories of people in their junior or senior year realizing they're getting a degree in the wrong major. If you find yourself in this position, thats ok too! The average student takes more than 4 years to obtain a bachelor's degree. It's rewarding of course to graduate, but even more rewarding if it's in a field you truly love. If your really don't want wasted efforts, maybe double major, or go back for a second degree immediately after to avoid Sally Mae phone calls. You won't be the oldest person on campus, it'll be fine. Otherwise, save the majority of classes in your major (once you decide) for your last years in school; you'll need that drive to graduate. That's one thing I actually did right. 


I know some of my readers could definitely contribute some wisdom about how to survive college, so comment below, yeah? And for those with questions, please don't hesitate to ask!








Wednesday, July 24, 2013

10 Tips for the newly engaged


I have been engaged for about a year and a half now to one of the most amazing guys in my life. We've been together for 5 years prior to getting engaged, so most people pretty much expected it. Nevertheless there were a few things I wish I was aware of before he popped the question. Maybe this list can help you and your boo thang out! 

1. People will ask for a story. It can get old or tiresome for you to repeat this over and over, but it's good news! People love good news! People also have short attention spans, so it might be helpful to come up with a nice, concise script that keeps the tale short and sweet without skipping the details. 

2. Be cautious of when and how you spread the big news. Everyone has a Facebook account nowadays, which can make for plenty of sticky situations, this being the first that I will mention. Think about who you would like to tell in person or call first before you post it on the Internet.

3. People will crawl back from the depths of your past to be your friend again.  This is probably the most awkward for me. Friends and relatives you've stopped contacting will suddenly appear like wild zubats and try to become chummy once again. Could be good or bad, I suppose. 

4. People will ask, "When's the wedding?!" As soon as they find out you're engaged. Literally within hours of the ring sliding onto your finger you will get this question. Im pretty confident that most people don't book a venue the second after they get proposed to. To this day I still don't have a date. It is the most annoying question because right now my brain is primarily focused on graduating college. I tell people over and over, "I'm concentrating on graduating first before I plan a wedding."

5. Planning a wedding is stressful, so give yourself plenty of time. Do not feel like you have to constrain yourself to your ideal timeline if it doesn't fit; it's not worth the stress. If your wedding is going to be anywhere close to a big shindig, take time to figure out what you like first before you book anything. I thought I'd be able to have the wedding within months of graduating. Boy was I wrong! Between school full time and two jobs there is no way I can squeeze in wedding planning. Depending on what you're going for (for me, as much DIY as possible) it can be a part time job. 

6. Go to bridal shows! They're super fun and you have a very good chance of winning free stuff. It's a little intimidating since every vendor is trying to woo you, but it was definitely an eye opener. It was especially helpful for a gal like me who didn't give my wedding a single thought until he proposed.

7. When you start planning your big day, be careful of what details you post on the Internet. After all the hype cools down on Facebook, people go about scrolling their lives away liking the next big thing and forgetting about you. This is good if you're not planning to invite your entire friends list. The more you post about it, the more people might question whether or not they're invited. Also, everyone will voice their opinions on the matter and I'm sure we all know what that can be like.

8. Plan the finance before anything else. It's good to look around to see what things cost in your area. This way you and whoever else is contributing can decide what you can afford and what's important. Zack and I are paying for it ourselves and we've opened a savings account. 

9.  Learn to compromise with your future spouse. You may have it all figured out, but this is a union of two individuals so both opinions matter. This is just a sample of what's to come in your new lives together. 

10. Don't settle. Contradictory to the last one I know, but if you really want a wedding in a gallery and just haven't found the perfect one, keep looking! I'm thinking about hiring a wedding planner who specializes in alternative venues. (Hint: according to the wedding mags I've been reading, wedding planners should save you enough money in your budget to cover their costs and then some! So don't tack on additional money to your budget). 

I hope this list was helpful! Anyone else have any more tips? I'd love to see them in the comments!

Ttfn!
Avé

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Thinking about going natural?


Before i decided to go natural, I went back and forth toying with the idea for months after transitioning for over a year. I hadn't the slightest clue what I was doing before I started looking further into it; the whole thing was overwhelming! I didn't personally know anyone who had natural hair and I had no idea what I'd do with it or how I would make the next move. After two and a half years of fro, I've come up with a few things to consider if you're thinking about going natural...

Why do you want to do it?

If your sole reason is to jump in on the trend (although I hate calling it that, but right now it seems like it is), that may not be the best reason. Trends come and go in a matter of months, maybe a year or two. Hair growth takes much longer than that. Whether you're transitioning or doing the BC, it's much more of a commitment than a fad.

The best reason is because YOU want to. simple as that.

Why I did it:

  • My scalp was getting worse with each relaxer I got. (Bad reaction, redness, scabs, maybe my scalp is sensitive? allergic? who knows.)
  • The older I'm getting, the more I want to eliminate harmful chemicals from my life.
  • Genuine curiosity! 

Get ready for attention...

Good. Bad. Stares. Glares. Questions. Comments. You will not believe the increase of attention I gained when I chopped off my hair and started growing my curls. Unless if you currently have an already out-of-the-norm hairdo, you will gain more attention. Although the number of natural dos is growing, it's still a minority within a minority. Most of the attention is positive and/or curiosity. For instance,  the most common question I get is, "How does your hair do that?" To which I reply "It just does!" However, I still get negative glares now and then. I think a few of those from older generations are firmly under the impression that "nappy hair is bad hair." I just shrug it off; what can you do? 

You'll be spending more time with your hair.

In my opinion, natural hair is generally easier to maintain. HOWEVER, everything was new to me my first year of naturalness. My mom was my hairdresser and natural hair was uncharted territory for her--and many hairdressers I might add. I have yet to find a hairdresser who knows how to manage natural hair. In fact, I don't think they learn in school how to do anything with fros except how to straighten them. If you live in a metropolitan area (especially Atlanta) you might find a salon that caters to your hair, but I'm not that lucky.

This means you will be left to discover your own hair. If you're used to salons, this might be a big jump for you. Take advantage of the growing natural hair community among the interwebs! I suggest doing the BC (if that's what you want to do) during a time of year when you're not too busy, like winter break or summer vacation. This will give you ample time to play around with your hair and figure out what you like in terms of products, routines, and maintenance. 

Get nerdy, do research 

This sort of plays off the last topic. There is a wealth of information available on how to take care of natural hair. Like I mentioned before, this is a minority within a minority, so most people dont know what to do with it. But there are some lovely hair gurus and more experienced natural ladies (and gents) that can help you out! You'll most likely be using a whole new set of products and tools, so it's good to start learning about what you want/need for your hair before you go natural.

Lastly, have fun!

It's your hair, you can do whatever you want with it. Natural hair is fun! But so is relaxed hair, and braids, and wigs, and weaves, and whatever else. Do what fits for you, your style, and your life. Don't listen to the debbie downers out there either. There's bits of controversy even within the natural community; like using heat or combs or certain less potent chemicals; but don't let that bog you down. In due time you'll figure out what you like and don't like. 

Hope this helps! Any other naturals have any tips to make the decision?

TTFN<3

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